July 2013 Newsletter -
Letter from the Editor
(pictured l to r) Kaitlyn, Claire, Isabelle, and Madison – July 2010
(pictured l to r) Kaitlyn, Isabelle, and Claire – July 2013
This month I wanted to update you on 4 fabulous young ladies that I shared with you back in August 2010. When I revisited that article, however, I couldn’t think of anything more true or heartfelt than what I had already written. So, I’ve reposted the previous letter along with a brief update of what’s transpired over the last 3 years. The example these young ladies continue to provide to all of us is extraordinary. Enjoy!
Originally published August 2010
Determination: An unceasing, unstoppable drive to reach your goals… to get what you say you want and by-when you say you want it. I speak a lot about being unstoppable, but you’ll never learn more about being unstoppable than from watching children.Take for example my friends: Madison, Kaitlyn, Isabelle, and Claire. These girls, at the ages of 13, 11, 10, and 11, are the co-founders of the Backyard Talent Show for St. Jude. They started this show as a way to have some fun with their friends during the summer, and in just two years their show has now raised $17,000 for the Children of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital!These girls have been doing local media interviews. They’ve captured the attention of several members of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital’s Board of Directors, as well as the owner of the NFL’s Indianapolis Colts. They dance, sing and act their hearts out as MCs of their event. They organized over 38 participants in this year’s show. They hit the streets going door-to-door to businesses asking for their sponsorship. Given the opportunity to make a brief presentation about their event to one of the Jonas Brothers, these girls stood far more composed and eloquent in their speaking than most of the adults who were around.They’ve had to learn how to deal with “No.” They’ve had to learn to work as a team, communicate succinctly, put their differences and personal desires aside, and stay focused on what they have given their commitment to do! Remember: These are preteen and teenage girls!Imagine the courage it takes for these young ladies to stand in front of hundreds of people at their event. Imagine what it takes to remain composed during a LIVE television interview. Imagine what it takes to set aside your own selfish desires for an autograph or moment with your favorite celebrity, and instead take those few precious moments to talk about a charity that is near and dear to your heart. Imagine the courage it takes for these girls to stand up and willingly be judged and evaluated not just by their peers, but by high-powered adults that they’ve previously only seen on television and in magazines.This, my friends, is the kind of courage, dedication, focus and passion that we all need to have. Anything is possible when we commit to what we want, we give up worrying about what others will think, and we are in heartfelt action!So check it. Who is the most unstoppable person you know, and what is there for you to learn from them? I know who I’m taking notes from!Warm Regards,
2013 Update
Kaitlyn and Claire are now 14 years old (incoming freshmen this fall), and Isabelle is 13 years old. All three girls continue to organize, host, and dance in the Backyard Talent Show for St. Jude. Madison is now a junior in high school and has moved into more of an administrative role for the show, but continues to be very involved. In 2010, the show outgrew the backyard and was moved to a local park in Morton, IL. This year’s show included 55 participants, and to-date they have raised a total over $76,000 for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital! Keep up the great work, ladies. I’m so very proud of you!
Balancing the Work-Life Debate
Recently there have been a lot of commentary and blog posts in the realm of social media debating “work-life balance,” and the voracity with which people have attacked work-life balance as being impossible is shocking. It is not impossible! So, what’s the first thing that has to happen in order to achieve work-life balance? You have to stop asking the question, “How?”Give up what you believe balance is and be open to thinking of it in a new way. After all, work-life balance is not about two symmetrical pieces of time, but rather work-life balance is about equally weighting the pieces of your life! For instance, you can balance the work you do with the life you live by taking a moment each day, even just 10 minutes, to do something that you LOVE to do… something that recharges you…something that gives you so much joy or refreshment that it adds the weight you need to keep your work and life balanced!This approach may seem overly simplistic, but work-life balance really isn’t any more difficult than that, and to show you how simple it can really be, in next month’s newsletter you will find a complete article full of tools you can use to create the work-life balance that so many find elusive. So, to prepare yourself in the meantime, work on giving up any preconceived notions you might have about work-life balance, and make a point to do something that energizes you each and every day. By doing just those two things, you will begin to see a difference and be ready to take on what’s next in your quest to balance the work you do with the life you live!
Communication in the Workplace - Part II
Part I of Communication in the Workplace was published in the June 2013 issue of More Than Just a Thought. Click here to read the article » Full and complete communication takes a conscious effort on the part of every person involved, and the more numbers of people involved, the more challenging it can be. So, in addition to 1) being present to how you communicate, 2) giving up assumptions, 3) taking the time to teach, and 4) making sure what you communicate is actually understood, in the workplace you also have to...
Step 5: Take on Accountability
Now, there is the issue of people saying they heard what was said, they gave it back to you like they heard and understood it, but they don’t do what they said they were going to do. What do you do then? It is all about holding people accountable! You hold team members accountable in the following way:First, ask permission to speak straight with regard to the situation and acknowledge the circumstance from your perspective and any accountability you might have in the situation.Second, ask what happened and allow them the opportunity to share with you their perspective, and look for their understanding and acknowledgment of their responsibility.Third, explain the impact it had on you, them, others, and/or the company. Be careful not to make them wrong, but you do want them to clearly understand the consequences of their actions, or lack thereof.Fourth, provide them with the opportunity to say whatever they need to at this point. What you are looking for is an indication that they are taking responsibility and are willing to take part in any actions necessary to rectify the situation.Fifth, inform them of your expectations for the future and of any possible consequences if this reoccurs.Sixth, get from them their promise regarding future actions and behavior.Finally, say something to complete this issue and move on!Remember: there is no past eraser, and mistakes are going to happen. You actually learn the most when you do something wrong. It is when you or your team fails to learn from a mistake that you need to worry, and by following the steps for holding people accountable, everyone involved gains the clarity they need to move forward without any questions or assumptions about what is expected in the future.
Step 6: Give up Make Wrongs
Often times, tense and less than complete communications are the result of upsets and misunderstandings between co-workers that put people in a defensive position. Listening or speaking from a defensive state of mind is no way to communicate fully and completely! Instead, give up making others wrong, listen with an open mind, and rather than allow upsets to fester, you’ve got to communicate in a straightforward and calm manner. By communicating directly with the person there is an upset with, there is little room for make wrongs and upsets to fester – meaning mole hills will not be made into mountains in the workplace.
Step 7: Make “I don’t know” Okay
Foster an environment where questions are welcome. Don’t just give lip service to the notion, but actually take the time to answer the questions those on our team have before moving on to anything else! Make it okay for any member of your team to say: “I don’t know how to do this.” Or “I don’t understand.” And, when you make the room for questions to be asked, never ever make someone wrong for doing so. This is not just about full and complete communication on the human level, it is about building trust as well!The more your team members trust what is said the more you will grow as a team, and it is inside of a well built team that full and complete communication can really grow.Ultimately, full and complete communication in the workplace is really about being present to not only your agenda and the information that you want to communicate, but also to being present to how the information you are communicating is getting across to others.When you communicate with your co-workers, or anyone for that matter:
- Be with those people, not just physically, but also mentally.
- Give up assumptions and give up "knowing" in order to communicate effectively and to hear what you are supposed to, as well as to be heard by others.
- Be aware of your body posture and even the tone of your voice!
Communication is not only about the words you say but who we are being when you say them. Remember: ultimately the person responsible for the quality of any communication is the speaker. So, step up to the plate and communicate fully and completely everywhere.