May 2013 Newsletter - When a Mental Break = Being Stopped

Don't be Consumed by CircumstancesLetter from the Editor

Do you ever get so consumed by information that it kind of spins you around, makes you feel dizzy, and sometimes even leaves you feeling a bit cranky? Me too! And, the times I’m most affected is when the information I’m receiving doesn’t match up with what I “know,” or with what I am most familiar with. Hmm… no big surprise there!Our comfort zones live inside of what we think we “know,” and when what we know is challenged, it can be all consuming. Just this week, I allowed myself to be so consumed in a circumstance of “knowing” (or conversely, panic over not knowing) that I actually left the person who wanted to help me feeling made wrong, which wasn’t my intention, at all. However, my consumption left no room for me to be present to where I was leaving my friend. I was stuck in my own little space of confusion and worry over a computer, of all things! And, who I was being around this circumstance, got in the way of who I’m committed to being on this planet.  I’m committed to making a difference for every person I interact with, and no one can make a difference for another when they are consumed within themselves!So, how do you keep yourself from allowing circumstances to consume you?

  1. Be present to who you are committed to being – Ask yourself: Who am I being?
  2. Ask someone to hold you accountable for actually doing #1!
  3. When you slip-up (which we all do) and find yourself behaving in a way contrary to who you really are in the world, say, “I’m sorry” and forgive yourself too. If you don’t forgive yourself, it is just another something that will consume you!
  4. Simply, slow down and BE. When you’re spinning, you are the only person who can stop it.

#slowdownandbe

For more tips and daily pointers, join me on Twitter for the #slowdownandbe campaign. You can also win a copy of my new book! To win just follow me on Twitter and tweet me with #slowdownandbe

Remember: No one or nothing can ruin your day without your permission. So, don’t allow circumstances to consume you… don’t allow yourself to be anything other than what you ultimately choose!

Best regards,

Clay S. NelsonClay S. Nelson

Moving You Forward One Thought at a Time

Leadership Essential: Be In ActionLeadership Essential: Be in Action

 

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

~ Will Rogers

As a leader, you undoubtedly analyze (and even over-analyze) why you and your team haven’t produced the results you are committed to producing. And, as you’re surrounded by spreadsheets, charts, lists, analyses, and other research tools, do you find yourself thinking it might be best to just wait out whatever appears to be in your way? Well, guess what? This is it. You have no time to wait. This is not a dress rehearsal. If you want something, now is the time to go for it. Get into action and get into action now. You can spend your time looking for the answer to the question “why?” and it won’t change anything about the present, and won’t create anything for the future.Stop letting your fear of the unknown or of failure stop you from taking action. When did “playing safe” become your life commitment? And, if a lack of a valuable commitment that lights you up is at the root of your stagnation, change your commitments. Get really, really committed to what you really, really want…not what you think you are supposed to want for you, your team and your business, but to what you really want. You can talk all day, have meetings, make written reports, make lists out of your lists and review them until the cows come home. But, leaders who accomplish great things TAKE ACTION! So don’t just sit there… do something, sell something, create something, change something, volunteer for something! Do something bold!Let’s get real here. Procrastination has been defined as “the deliberate act of excessive postponing.” Notice that word….deliberate. That means it’s a choice! Don’t fall into the trap of believing all of the excuses/reasons for not reaching the goals you and your team committed to.  The truth is in your actions. You always have the power to choose your actions, no matter the circumstances. Choose to get unstuck!Yoda had it right… “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’”.

When a Mental Break Means Being StoppedWhen a Mental Break = Being Stopped

Late spring brings with it not only beautiful flowers and budding trees, it often times brings with it an air of tiredness, of not wanting to play. Instead of holding on to the energy that early spring brings us, we can get caught in the drama of the impending summer, and many, many people get stopped; they go on a bit of a “mental vacation!”

How do you know if you’ve gone on a “mental vacation:”

  • You have a sense of lethargy about you – no matter how great life is, life is “hard!”
  • You don’t want to play.
  • You have somehow bought into the notion that you can’t have what you want.
  • You’ve convinced yourself that you can be happy living in a cave and you stay there. You don’t want to communicate, and you want to stay right where you are in life, in relationships, in your job (or at least you think it would be easier to stay right where you are!)

The only problem with this way of being is that taking a “mental vacation” isn’t really who you are. A mental vacation as described above is nothing more than a way of hiding from the world; it’s a fancy way of saying, “I’m stopped!”

When do you get stopped?

You can get stopped at any time for any reason, but there are two times of year when people are stopped more than any other:

  1. Prior to and during the holidays
  2. Right now, just about the time when schools are getting ready for the end of the school year and the summer months are upon us.

I don’t know for sure why, but if I had to guess, I would say it has to do with this sense of completion, of finishing something and starting new, and even though we are adults, instead of the children we once were, this cyclical sense of completion still has the power to consume us!

How do you get unstopped?

  • Acknowledge how you are feeling – clear it – communicate that you are stopped!
  • Have a plan for doing the things you feel you are missing out on
  • When the “I’d much rather be outside than at work” feeling over takes you, go for a 15 minute walk… soak up the sun, breathe the fresh air, and then get back to it!
  • Ask for help!
  • Get a sense of humor – Learn to laugh at yourself
  • Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and wishing you had more time to play with your children, really be with them when you are playing with them!
  • Get out of your head – go back and read your plan… get present to what it is you say you want to achieve!

The point here is that in order to get unstuck you’ve got to get into action. You can’t move forward if you barricade yourself in your mental cave. You can’t move forward if you don’t choose to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can’t move forward if you choose not to. It is that simple!Being stopped is not a good/bad, right or wrong conversation. This is simply a conversation that is intended to wake you up to the power you have to be stopped or not. It really is a choice YOU make! Remember: Only you have a say in how your life turns out. Soooooo… What do you say?

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