Tips for Communicating Heart to Heart
As adults who survived our teenage years, it can be absolutely painful watching the teenagers in our lives navigate relationships. They are awkward – and full and complete communication? Well, let’s just say it rarely exists. Throw in the added spotlight and pressure that social media brings to a relationship, and you have one hot mess!
Navigating the waters of dating was hard enough when I was in high school and college, and we didn’t have the 24/7 pressure of cell phones, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. There was no trying to read between the lines of a 140 character post on Twitter or having everyone question why you have yet to post a picture of your significant other on Instagram.
If someone wanted to talk to me they had to pick up a telephone and fret about who they had to go through in order to get me on the line (i.e. my dad!). And, Heaven forbid they called after 9:00 PM! If we wanted to get to know each other, we had to actually speak to one another, without worrying about which emoji should be used to punctuate a statement.
Teenagers, communication, and relationships have been hot topics in our household in recent years. In fact, I wrote the tips below when helping my daughter prepare for a conversation with her boyfriend a while back. Funny thing is, whether you are a teenager working to figure out how relationships work, an adult who’s been married for decades, or a person in need of a heart-to-heart with your best friend, these tips for communicating heart-to-heart are important for all of us to remember.
Be present: leave your phone in another room and give your full attention.
Say what you need to say: don't leave anything unsaid. And, give the other person room to do the same.
Listen fully and completely: not just with your head but with your heart too. Don't assume you know what the other is going to say or where the conversation is leading.
Ask questions: if you don't understand something, ask for clarity.
Be gentle with them: don't speak in anger or say anything you'll later regret.
Be gentle with yourself: there is no right or wrong/good or bad when dealing with feelings.
Don't burn a bridge: regrets are a terrible thing.
What tips would you add to this list?
Please comment or send me an email! I'd love to hear what you would add.