Rip Off the Band Aid
How many times have you not walked a certain way to your office because you wanted to avoid someone? How many times have you avoided having a particular conversation because you simply did not want to deal with a circumstance or issue? We’ve all done it, but avoidance in most cases is nothing more than a quick fix. It is a band-aid that eventually comes loose.
When a problem, issue, or circumstance is so big that you run away from it, chances are it isn’t going to just go away on its own! When you resort to avoidance, what’s really got you? Fear! Yes, fear is real, but since it lives in our heads we do have the power to overcome it. Instead of avoiding what distresses you, step out of your comfort zone and choose to face it head on. Change who you choose to be, how you react, and how you choose to behave in the face of any number of circumstances!
Tips for Conquering Fear and Avoiding Avoidance
Be and stay clear! This will help you to be present to what you are feeling, why you are fearful and/or wanting to avoid something or someone, and help you work through what's stopping you.
Be in full and complete communication everywhere, all of the time! Ask permission to speak straight, call a family meeting, or just say, “Honey can we talk for a minute?” Honestly communicate what you feel and don’t make others wrong! Understand that communication is not about making people wrong, but instead about full and complete communication. Communicate how you feel and where you’ve been left, and allow others space to do the same.
Be committed to getting what you say you want and by-when you say you want it. When you aren’t committed to having your life be the way you want it, you allow “avoidance” to dictate the direction of your life and the happiness in your day. Is that really the way you want to live your life?
On the grand scale of time, your life is very short, and if you allow yourself to avoid what makes you uncomfortable, chances are you will miss out on opportunities you didn’t even know existed. If you soldier on with a chip on your shoulder or fear in your step, you lose, and when you make others wrong consistently for how you feel – without communicating how you feel — you just may be shutting out the people who care about you most.
Remember, every second that goes by is a second you can’t get back.
The more time you spend avoiding someone you have an upset with, avoiding a circumstance that distresses you, or doing anything less than fully and completely communicating… the more time you waste! I don’t have any time to waste, and I'm guessing you don't either. Face what's stopping you head-on. You'll be happier and more complete in every aspect of your life, and those around you will be, too.