Fear as Fuel

Think back to when you were young and you were in your bedroom tucked into bed for the night. Your bedroom door was sometimes kept open, at least a crack, and it usually opened up into the hallway, where the bathroom was located just down the hall. During the middle of the night, you would wake up because you need to use the bathroom, but when you got out of bed, got to the door, and slowly looked down the dark hallway, you were afraid because you just knew that the boogie man was in that hallway waiting for you. But you really had to go… and it was serious! You needed to get moving but fear kept taking you over. What finally got you moving through your fear was you had to go so badly that you just ran down the hallway, got to the bathroom, turned on the light, and shut the door. Whew!!

Now, we all know there wasn’t a boogie man in the hall… even in the moment of our fear we knew that, but that didn’t keep the fear from stopping us! Fear is a funny thing. As I just humorously demonstrated, fear has the power to stop us (if we allow it), but it also has the power to fuel us; to help us push even harder than we might have otherwise! And how we use our fear is about our choice to be unstoppable or not. If you choose to be unstoppable, you are refusing to allow fear to hold you in its clutches, and if that is the case, fear is actually the fuel that keeps you moving forward. Being unstoppable keeps us in the mindset of, “No way… I’m getting to where I say I want to go no matter what!!” and as long as we move through it, fear provides us with the extra juice to go the extra distance… a reminder of what we are committed to, who we are committed to being, and why we are committed to being it!

Whether we recognize it or not, the feeling of “I don’t want to do” this or that, feeling tired and uninspired, being down on yourself and your abilities, and feeling overburdened/overworked, are all symptoms of underlying fear. The fear of failure; fear of not being right; fear of not having the answer; fear of being alone; fear of not looking good; fear of knowing you don’t know; fear of losing control; and even fear of success!

So the question is: How do you harness this fear and turn it into fuel? The answer is simple: Get into action!!

GETTING INTO ACTION

Now, if you agree that fear can stop you, how do you get unstopped without having to read a book or call a therapist?

  • Ask for help! People around you who are your family, your co-workers, and your friends, are resources for you to step out and ask for help. If there is something you want and you don’t have it, you’ve got to ask for it. You have to break through your fear! You need at least one person in your life who you can ask for help, someone that you trust, and you need to let them know that you’re going to ask for their assistance in the future.

  • The next thing you need to take on is getting a sense of humor about who you are in the face of the fears that stop you. You have to learn to laugh at yourself!

  • Think like a child and take on being unstoppable the same way children do! Have you ever noticed that a youngster, up to about age 8, is unstoppable? The word “no” doesn’t seem to bother them. They just keep coming back until they get what they want. After 8 years old, they worry about hair gel and looking good, you know the kind of things that adults worry about! So give up being serious and worried about what others think, and instead take on getting what you say you want with passion and aliveness!

  • Communicate… communicate… communicate! The #1 tool that deals with the stops that fear puts in front of you is communication. Clear! Just say “I’m stopped…”, or write, “I’m stopped…” on a piece of paper or “I don’t want to do it… I can’t do it… I’ll just die if I have to do it.” Sign it, wad it up, and throw it away. The idea is to get into action, any way you can, and get out of your head.

Fear lives between your ears, it’s made up. It feels real; it makes your heart beat faster, it makes you perspire sometimes, but it’s made up. And when you feel fear taking control, all you have to do is change your space and get into action; take a walk, exercise, briefly change your environment. Just getting up and walking around your desk will do the job — or any of the other suggestions that follow:

  • Ask for help –(Wow… What a concept!)

  • Get a sense of humor

  • Learn to laugh at yourself

  • Play with your children

  • Get into communication

  • Communicate that you are stopped

  • Call your coach

  • Call your clearing partner

  • Hug someone

  • Tell someone you love them

  • Go roller-skating

  • Go to a public place

  • Go for a drive

  • Listen to music

  • Look at the sky

  • Walk in the woods

  • Read your plan and get present to what it is you say you want!

Once you get into action and face your fears, you loosen the grip that fear has on you, and your fear becomes fuel! Clarity will return around who you are, what you are committed to, and where you are going. And that is half the battle!

Be clear about this: Fear in moderation is a good thing. Fear helps you to be alive enough to where the hairs on your arms stand up straight, and your brain thinks, “Oh gosh! I’m going to die on this one for sure,” and then you move forward anyway! It’s about being energized, being passionate, and being unstoppable. If there is no fear in your life you aren’t doing anything, or playing nearly as big as you should be! Most successful people, people who weather life’s ups and downs, aren’t fearless. They are courageous in the face of their fears, and you, too, can choose to be stopped by your fear or move through it. You can choose to complain or create. It is entirely up to you.

Just remember: You are the only person who has a say in how your life turns out! Fear doesn’t have a say; other people don’t have a say; the government doesn’t have a say… only you do. So what do you choose: Being stopped by your fears or moving through your fears and into action? The choice is yours! 

Clay Nelson