Tips for Communicating Heart-to-Heart
As adults who survived our teenage years, it can be painful watching the teenagers in our lives navigate relationships. Absolutely. Painful. They are awkward, at best. And full and complete communication? Well, let’s just say it rarely exists. Throw in the added spotlight and pressure that social media brings to a relationship, and you have one hot mess!
Navigating the waters of dating was hard enough when we were in high school and college, and we did not have the 24/7 pressure of cell phones, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. There was no trying to read between the lines of a 140-character Twitter post or having everyone question why you haven’t posted a picture of your significant other on Instagram. In those days, if someone wanted to talk to me, they had to pick up a phone and fret about who they had to go through (i.e. my dad!) in order to actually get me on the line. And, heaven forbid if they called after 9:00 PM. If they wanted to get to know me, and I them, we had to actually speak to one another, without worrying about which emoji should be used to punctuate a statement.
Teenagers, communication, and relationships were hot topics in my household a few years ago, and in an effort to help my daughter prepare for a specific conversation she was planning to have with her boyfriend, I wrote the tips below with them in mind. Funny thing is, these principles for communicating heart-to-heart apply to all ages and stages of life — whether you are navigating a new relationship, have been married for decades, or need to have a heart-to-heart with your best friend or coworker.
Be present; leave your phone in another room and give your full attention.
Say what you need to say; don't leave anything unsaid. And, give the other room to do the same.
Listen fully and completely, — not just with your head, but with your heart, too. Don't assume you know what the other is going to say or where the conversation is leading.
Ask; if you don't understand something, ask for clarity.
Be gentle with one another; don't speak in anger or say anything you'll later regret.
Be gentle with yourself, too. You are dealing with feelings; there is no right or wrong, good or bad.
Don't burn your bridges; regrets are a terrible thing.
What tips would you add? Please comment or send me an email! I'd love to hear what you would add to this list. :)